tomorrow makes a week since i left colorado. i was thinking about my travels this morning and it made me smile. i decided this trip that i can't listen to the relevant podcast while on an airplane anymore because I laugh out loud too much. if i'm walking around downtown or riding my bike it is ok if i laugh out loud because people look at me strangely and i just keep going, but when you are stuck on a plane for more than an hour and laugh outloud repeatedly people just keep looking at you and moving away seat by seat.
funny thing
since i am short i can't usually see over the seats in front of me on the airplane without craning my neck, and since i have flown so much i don't usually watch the safety talk anymore. well, this time i happened to look over the seats in the middle of the talk and saw that the steward was wearing a huge red clown nose and a flashing necklace! i thought that was odd and chuckled, and settled in while he finished. when he finally finished talking and walked past me towards the back of the plane i glanced up and he was wearing a chicken beak mask! crazy.

so i had a great idea the other day that instead of buying plain chicken noodle soup i would buy "princess" chicken noodle soup. I thought princess chickens must be better somehow than regular chickens, right?

i was wrong.

the soup just has princess stuff floating around in it. i was enjoying the glass slippers, castles and carriages, but i found that when it came to eating the heads of the princesses i actually felt a little bit cannibalistic, i got over it though and ate all of ariel's heads first, then belle's, then cinderella's. mmhmm.

a study of being

you know those times when God makes it crystal clear that he has something that he wants you to focus on learning, and then he seems to tell everyone else around you to tell you that you need to focus on learning that specific thing? that is what i have been experiencing these last 3 months. at this moment 5 people in 5 different places have shared that they felt God was calling me to learn to rest and be still in him, basically to focus on being, and not doing.

i thought i had learned that. i have certainly heard it taught on enough times, or so i thought. but it is one of those things that i haven't ever fully realized.

as i look back at my life i have realized that so much of it has been focused on doing. i would live for the next big adventure. and fall apart when those dreams died. one of those dreams, teaching a children in crisis school, has come and gone so many times that i was tired of having my heart broken and ready to stop dreaming all together. as i have been in colorado this last month and a half i feel like God has asked me not to look forward yet. the first few weeks of that was especially hard as i realized that i felt i had no purpose if i had no goal or adventure to live for. i had to face the crisis of "what is my purpose today?" God reminded me again last night (via dave blakeslee) that he is still teaching me what stillness and being look like. i realize now that i need to focus on learning to be, and all the rest will fall into place as i abide in Christ.

kayla and abbie got here last night and i am so excited to cram in as much stuff as we can this next week. today we successfully did the crossword in the paper and are spending time at bongo billy's. so fun.

twitter quote of the day

"I think I just peed my pants"

it made me laugh because Charlie always says this and to have someone else use that phrase is great. makes me miss boise.

things are changing

word of the day

bore /bɔr, boʊr/ [bawr, bohr] verb, bored, bor⋅ing, noun –verb (used with object)
1. to pierce (a solid substance) with some rotary cutting instrument.
2. to make (a hole) by drilling with such an instrument.

oops, wrong definition

bore  /bɔr, boʊr/ [bawr, bohr] verb, bored, bor⋅ing, noun –verb (used with object)
1. to weary by dullness, tedious repetition, unwelcome attentions, etc.: The long speech bored me. –noun
2. a dull, tiresome, or uncongenial person.
3. a cause of ennui or petty annoyance: repetitious tasks that are a bore to do.

this describes my past week.
i keep thinking that i will update my blog with fun daily anecdotes, but since i have been sick in bed for over a week that hasn't been happening. i have realized that after 5 days alone with myself i no longer think that i am very funny. there was one time that i made myself laugh so hard i almost coughed up a lung, but since there was no one else there to appreciate it, or to replace my lung if i should ever really cough it up, i have refrained from telling myself jokes since then.

thanks to direct tv, Jimmy Fallon, Nathan Fillion, and 30 Rock i have not quite been laughless, but now that i am out of bed things are going to change...

not wasting your life

I've wanted to change the world since i was 9.

during missions week at penngrove community church someone told the story of amy carmichael rescuing girls from being temple prostitutes. i decided right there that was what i wanted to do.

when i was 12 i watched a national geographic show on indian elephants and as they talked about the hindu religion i decided that i wanted to go to india and bring God's truth.

when i was 14 i clearly heard God ask me to be a missionary and i said yes.

when i was 18 i read an article on what it was like to be a woman in asia and decided that i wanted to change that.

when i was 21 i decided that i would like to focus on working with children.

when i was 22 i walked through a red light district in the philippines and my heart broke.

now i am 25 and looking back over my life i can see it all being woven together.
I can see that all of those times that "i decided" it was really God opening my heart to understand his.

tonight i went to a small group and we discussed the first chapter of the book "don't waste your life" by john piper. it was interesting to hear the discussion, because it has only been these last few years that i have finally begun to figure out that God does call people to live in small towns and raise families, and maybe never even leave the country. changing the world has been such a focus for me my entire life that i forget that there are people who aren't supposed to spend their lives doing that. I have come to realize that living in Christ and having relationships with people that you live around is just the same as going out into the world. as long as you are living in Christ and building relationships. i still think that there are plenty of christians who, now that they are saved, are just waiting to go to heaven. i have to continuously ask God to help me not to judge people when it seems like they are just sitting in the pews on sunday for their weekly dose and then going home to continue life until it's time to take it again. all this to say i understand now if God has called you to live your life in a quiet way.

ok, please forgive my rantings. If you read this far I'm impressed, unless that is you mom, then its just a given, but thanks anyway.

there is a huge hurting world out there and evil cannot fix evil. neither can we fix it on our own. but i believe that God's heart is breaking and that he is waiting for people to step up and step out. only through Christ can we make a difference, where ever we are.


when i was 5 i heard a missionary speak about papua new guinea and first realized that there were people in the world that didn't know that God loved

them. let's change that one person at a time.

i think i assume that i'm a lot braver than i really am. and i have no idea how to relate to high-schoolers. and i love 30 rock.

just thought i'd update you on a little of my life.

i spent the day yesterday up at the white-out youth retreat talking about vcom. it was so awkward to not know anybody at all! but i made it through the day and met a few cool people. it was probably good that it didn't feel like valentines day, i could just ignore it and let it slide buy practically unnoticed. i've realized that i don't really do well when it's just me. if i have one more person that i know i get so much braver. i went to church this morning too and didn't really meet anyone. i stood around for a little while afterward and waited for someone to say hi. but no one did, so i left.

on the subject of high-schoolers...i think it is because i never was a typical high-schooler that i have no idea how to relate to them. even when i was that age i thought that they were pretty rediculous and i still think the same thing. so, not rediculous, but self absorbed at least. i'm sure they are great once you get to know them, but how do you do that? i'd take a five year old for conversation any day over a high-schooler. ok, so i have done what i hate and lumped people together in a overly broad category. that's just what i felt yesterday.

ok, so 30 rock and tina fey. i'm convinced that they have been watching rachelle and i and taking ideas from our life! from burning brownies to "friendship over" to feeling someone's face. hehehe. each episode this season has had something in it from our life! anyway. i love it. oh here are a few pictures from when charlie and i went riding.

i've decided

i would like a pair of these

Sunbeams creep slowly down the opposite hill, like a sleepy child down the stairs. My cold toes wait expectantly for the first kisses of the sun to find them. The rusty train track has now been sun-lit, a length of infinity that runs parallel with time. The river sings the name of people it has seen, telling the story of its travels. A hawk chases the invisible wind, hoping somehow to catch its power. Aspens, lovely with frail strength, begin to glow in their cloak of light.
Beauty and life come together in this place. Allowing me a faint glimpse of earths perfection.
The sun quickens in anticipation of its reunion with the river. The train tracks preside solemnly over the day. The river turns on its reflections, jewels on the rocks and jade on the water. The hawk warms and questions its search for power as its circle becomes lazy in the sky. The aspens drink of the sunshine, spinning it into the radiant life that surrounds them.
Cool beauty becomes passion. Half the world dances in this golden glow. My toes are kissed, caressed and warmed. My soul begins another day.

Hello friends i have decided that it is high time for an update. i am here to confirm the rumor that i am indeed planning on moving back to oregon, i think. i have pretty much decided that i will quit telling people my life plans, since they change so often. for the month of february and march I will be house sitting in salida, co. that will be an adventure! my friend amy lives in salida and knows a couple that asked her to house sit for them during those two months, but she will be on Hawaii in feb. (poor thing) so i am going to fly out there and do it instead! i think it will be a great time to relax and read and start writing that book i am always talking about. i am also thinking about starting a podcast, but i will let you know if that happens. i am looking foreward to having time to pray about what the next step in my life is going to be. at this point i am planning on moving back to medford, or after i am done house sitting, so these last weeks of jan,. will be my last hurrah in boise. since i am unemployed at this point i have plenty of time to hang out, so let me know if you’ve got free time! i am also looking for odd jobs these next few weeks, so I can still buy groceries.

i have felt change coming for a while, i just didn’t realize what kind. this last year i have had in boise has been wonderful, i hope that i am not leaving forever. when i came here in august of ’07 i was planning on helping with the DIA school by teaching in the Children in Crisis tract. i soon found out that that wasn’t going to be happening so i helped to plan the Woman and Children in Crisis class that ran last winter at the Vineyard. that was such and amazing experience and great practice and i am amazed at the fruit of that class. this past summer i have been helping to plan the Children In Crisis School that was going to be run through VCOM. it turns out that the school is not going to run, so i have asked God to release me to go on to whatever adventure is next in my life, i really feel like i have the freedom to move to whatever is next. i am so thankful for the relationships that i have made here and hope to keep those going.

i was lamenting to rachelle last month (something that I have done pretty often lately) about the fact that everything here is coming to an end. even my P.O. Box expires in feb! but at this point i have moved on to the excitement that new things bring. as i continue on my adventure i want to thank you all for your love and support and i want to share my adventures with you.