Shades of Lavender

Fun Fact #1

2011-11-18T13:10:00.001-08:00

I found this dress on clearance at Ross the other day. It was not the right length so I cut a couple of inches off the bottom and now I have a dress and a headband!

listening

2011-10-24T18:29:00.000-07:00

I sat still long enough today to hear the dragonflies.

To see fish jump in the pond.

To realize that if I could fly, then flying like a Flicker would be fun.

To recognize the sound of a woodpecker drilling holes in the oak trees.

To watch a hawk catch and fly off with said woodpecker. (I know! weird, right?)

It was a good time.

Well, the end was a little disturbing...

2011-07-07T11:37:00.000-07:00

A song rings out like a melodic prism

I am transported to another place

I encounter the ocean on the cool breeze

sun warms the grass

cut-off shorts

bare toes

I again feel the weightlessness of childhood

no more worries

no schedule

no tasks

A pure love and unconditional friendship

runs through my veins

unforced smiles

true life

Ankle deep in lukewarm pools catching tadpoles

everything is deeper

all things shine

I live

all this renewed by the song of a red-winged blackbird.

Going to Camp

2011-06-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I head out of town to be a cabin leader at Bethel's Children's Tent Revival Camp. The theme of the camp is Digging The Wells of the Past for the Rain of the Future. I'm so excited to spend an entire week with the incredible children's ministry team here at Bethel, and to experience life changing moments with these kids. i experienced more of God in one moment then I ever had before when I was 13 and my life was never the same. I love that I get to be a part of God changing lives again. Did I mention that we will have incredible worship and great speakers that I get to hear too! Best. Camp. Ever.

reassessing the toybox

2011-05-16T00:15:00.000-07:00

Did you ever have those times as a kid that you dumped out you entire toybox to review everything in it? I feel like its that time again for me. I'm feeling the need to dump the contents of my life and sift through them to see what's there.

There are some toys that so precious they need a place on the shelf with my "collections."

Then there are some that I thought would be so important and life changing that I never really use anymore,

and then the ones that I've forgotten about and am excited to rediscover,

and some that I don't even know where they came from and I need to study more closely.

Everything has just been piled in on top of each other for a while and it has gotten pretty messy.

Excuse me as I take time to verbally sort my blocks.

Coming May 16th...

2011-05-09T00:05:00.000-07:00

the beginning of a epic tale.

2009-04-14T13:36:00.001-07:00

tomorrow makes a week since i left colorado. i was thinking about my travels this morning and it made me smile. i decided this trip that i can't listen to the relevant podcast while on an airplane anymore because I laugh out loud too much. if i'm walking around downtown or riding my bike it is ok if i laugh out loud because people look at me strangely and i just keep going, but when you are stuck on a plane for more than an hour and laugh outloud repeatedly people just keep looking at you and moving away seat by seat.
funny thing
since i am short i can't usually see over the seats in front of me on the airplane without craning my neck, and since i have flown so much i don't usually watch the safety talk anymore. well, this time i happened to look over the seats in the middle of the talk and saw that the steward was wearing a huge red clown nose and a flashing necklace! i thought that was odd and chuckled, and settled in while he finished. when he finally finished talking and walked past me towards the back of the plane i glanced up and he was wearing a chicken beak mask! crazy.

2009-03-30T17:49:00.000-07:00

so i had a great idea the other day that instead of buying plain chicken noodle soup i would buy "princess" chicken noodle soup. I thought princess chickens must be better somehow than regular chickens, right?

i was wrong.

the soup just has princess stuff floating around in it. i was enjoying the glass slippers, castles and carriages, but i found that when it came to eating the heads of the princesses i actually felt a little bit cannibalistic, i got over it though and ate all of ariel's heads first, then belle's, then cinderella's. mmhmm.

a study of being

2009-03-25T13:44:00.000-07:00

you know those times when God makes it crystal clear that he has something that he wants you to focus on learning, and then he seems to tell everyone else around you to tell you that you need to focus on learning that specific thing? that is what i have been experiencing these last 3 months. at this moment 5 people in 5 different places have shared that they felt God was calling me to learn to rest and be still in him, basically to focus on being, and not doing.

i thought i had learned that. i have certainly heard it taught on enough times, or so i thought. but it is one of those things that i haven't ever fully realized.

as i look back at my life i have realized that so much of it has been focused on doing. i would live for the next big adventure. and fall apart when those dreams died. one of those dreams, teaching a children in crisis school, has come and gone so many times that i was tired of having my heart broken and ready to stop dreaming all together. as i have been in colorado this last month and a half i feel like God has asked me not to look forward yet. the first few weeks of that was especially hard as i realized that i felt i had no purpose if i had no goal or adventure to live for. i had to face the crisis of "what is my purpose today?" God reminded me again last night (via dave blakeslee) that he is still teaching me what stillness and being look like. i realize now that i need to focus on learning to be, and all the rest will fall into place as i abide in Christ.

2009-03-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

kayla and abbie got here last night and i am so excited to cram in as much stuff as we can this next week. today we successfully did the crossword in the paper and are spending time at bongo billy's. so fun.

twitter quote of the day

2009-03-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

"I think I just peed my pants"

it made me laugh because Charlie always says this and to have someone else use that phrase is great. makes me miss boise.

things are changing

2009-03-17T14:18:00.001-07:00

word of the day

bore /bɔr, boʊr/ [bawr, bohr] verb, bored, bor⋅ing, noun –verb (used with object)
1. to pierce (a solid substance) with some rotary cutting instrument.
2. to make (a hole) by drilling with such an instrument.

oops, wrong definition

bore /bɔr, boʊr/ [bawr, bohr] verb, bored, bor⋅ing, noun –verb (used with object)
1. to weary by dullness, tedious repetition, unwelcome attentions, etc.: The long speech bored me. –noun
2. a dull, tiresome, or uncongenial person.
3. a cause of ennui or petty annoyance: repetitious tasks that are a bore to do.

this describes my past week.
i keep thinking that i will update my blog with fun daily anecdotes, but since i have been sick in bed for over a week that hasn't been happening. i have realized that after 5 days alone with myself i no longer think that i am very funny. there was one time that i made myself laugh so hard i almost coughed up a lung, but since there was no one else there to appreciate it, or to replace my lung if i should ever really cough it up, i have refrained from telling myself jokes since then.

thanks to direct tv, Jimmy Fallon, Nathan Fillion, and 30 Rock i have not quite been laughless, but now that i am out of bed things are going to change...

not wasting your life

2009-02-26T21:34:00.000-08:00

I've wanted to change the world since i was 9.

during missions week at penngrove community church someone told the story of amy carmichael rescuing girls from being temple prostitutes. i decided right there that was what i wanted to do.

when i was 12 i watched a national geographic show on indian elephants and as they talked about the hindu religion i decided that i wanted to go to india and bring God's truth.

when i was 14 i clearly heard God ask me to be a missionary and i said yes.

when i was 18 i read an article on what it was like to be a woman in asia and decided that i wanted to change that.

when i was 21 i decided that i would like to focus on working with children.

when i was 22 i walked through a red light district in the philippines and my heart broke.

now i am 25 and looking back over my life i can see it all being woven together.
I can see that all of those times that "i decided" it was really God opening my heart to understand his.

tonight i went to a small group and we discussed the first chapter of the book "don't waste your life" by john piper. it was interesting to hear the discussion, because it has only been these last few years that i have finally begun to figure out that God does call people to live in small towns and raise families, and maybe never even leave the country. changing the world has been such a focus for me my entire life that i forget that there are people who aren't supposed to spend their lives doing that. I have come to realize that living in Christ and having relationships with people that you live around is just the same as going out into the world. as long as you are living in Christ and building relationships. i still think that there are plenty of christians who, now that they are saved, are just waiting to go to heaven. i have to continuously ask God to help me not to judge people when it seems like they are just sitting in the pews on sunday for their weekly dose and then going home to continue life until it's time to take it again. all this to say i understand now if God has called you to live your life in a quiet way.

ok, please forgive my rantings. If you read this far I'm impressed, unless that is you mom, then its just a given, but thanks anyway.

there is a huge hurting world out there and evil cannot fix evil. neither can we fix it on our own. but i believe that God's heart is breaking and that he is waiting for people to step up and step out. only through Christ can we make a difference, where ever we are.

when i was 5 i heard a missionary speak about papua new guinea and first realized that there were people in the world that didn't know that God loved

them. let's change that one person at a time.

2009-02-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

i think i assume that i'm a lot braver than i really am. and i have no idea how to relate to high-schoolers. and i love 30 rock.

just thought i'd update you on a little of my life.

i spent the day yesterday up at the white-out youth retreat talking about vcom. it was so awkward to not know anybody at all! but i made it through the day and met a few cool people. it was probably good that it didn't feel like valentines day, i could just ignore it and let it slide buy practically unnoticed. i've realized that i don't really do well when it's just me. if i have one more person that i know i get so much braver. i went to church this morning too and didn't really meet anyone. i stood around for a little while afterward and waited for someone to say hi. but no one did, so i left.

on the subject of high-schoolers...i think it is because i never was a typical high-schooler that i have no idea how to relate to them. even when i was that age i thought that they were pretty rediculous and i still think the same thing. so, not rediculous, but self absorbed at least. i'm sure they are great once you get to know them, but how do you do that? i'd take a five year old for conversation any day over a high-schooler. ok, so i have done what i hate and lumped people together in a overly broad category. that's just what i felt yesterday.

ok, so 30 rock and tina fey. i'm convinced that they have been watching rachelle and i and taking ideas from our life! from burning brownies to "friendship over" to feeling someone's face. hehehe. each episode this season has had something in it from our life! anyway. i love it. oh here are a few pictures from when charlie and i went riding.

i've decided

2009-02-13T20:49:00.001-08:00

i would like a pair of these

2009-02-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

Sunbeams creep slowly down the opposite hill, like a sleepy child down the stairs. My cold toes wait expectantly for the first kisses of the sun to find them. The rusty train track has now been sun-lit, a length of infinity that runs parallel with time. The river sings the name of people it has seen, telling the story of its travels. A hawk chases the invisible wind, hoping somehow to catch its power. Aspens, lovely with frail strength, begin to glow in their cloak of light.
Beauty and life come together in this place. Allowing me a faint glimpse of earths perfection.
The sun quickens in anticipation of its reunion with the river. The train tracks preside solemnly over the day. The river turns on its reflections, jewels on the rocks and jade on the water. The hawk warms and questions its search for power as its circle becomes lazy in the sky. The aspens drink of the sunshine, spinning it into the radiant life that surrounds them.
Cool beauty becomes passion. Half the world dances in this golden glow. My toes are kissed, caressed and warmed. My soul begins another day.

2009-01-19T09:26:00.001-08:00

Hello friends i have decided that it is high time for an update. i am here to confirm the rumor that i am indeed planning on moving back to oregon, i think. i have pretty much decided that i will quit telling people my life plans, since they change so often. for the month of february and march I will be house sitting in salida, co. that will be an adventure! my friend amy lives in salida and knows a couple that asked her to house sit for them during those two months, but she will be on Hawaii in feb. (poor thing) so i am going to fly out there and do it instead! i think it will be a great time to relax and read and start writing that book i am always talking about. i am also thinking about starting a podcast, but i will let you know if that happens. i am looking foreward to having time to pray about what the next step in my life is going to be. at this point i am planning on moving back to medford, or after i am done house sitting, so these last weeks of jan,. will be my last hurrah in boise. since i am unemployed at this point i have plenty of time to hang out, so let me know if you’ve got free time! i am also looking for odd jobs these next few weeks, so I can still buy groceries.

i have felt change coming for a while, i just didn’t realize what kind. this last year i have had in boise has been wonderful, i hope that i am not leaving forever. when i came here in august of ’07 i was planning on helping with the DIA school by teaching in the Children in Crisis tract. i soon found out that that wasn’t going to be happening so i helped to plan the Woman and Children in Crisis class that ran last winter at the Vineyard. that was such and amazing experience and great practice and i am amazed at the fruit of that class. this past summer i have been helping to plan the Children In Crisis School that was going to be run through VCOM. it turns out that the school is not going to run, so i have asked God to release me to go on to whatever adventure is next in my life, i really feel like i have the freedom to move to whatever is next. i am so thankful for the relationships that i have made here and hope to keep those going.

i was lamenting to rachelle last month (something that I have done pretty often lately) about the fact that everything here is coming to an end. even my P.O. Box expires in feb! but at this point i have moved on to the excitement that new things bring. as i continue on my adventure i want to thank you all for your love and support and i want to share my adventures with you.

CALL+RESPONSE in Boise!

2008-12-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

Call+Response is coming to Boise! I would like to brag that it is because of me, but that wouldn't be true. Stephie Braun and I talked to both the Flicks and the Egyptian Theatre and the contacts we made there were very interested in bringing it here, then the next thing i knew I saw the poster in the window of the Egyptian Theatre! Here is the info:

CALL+RESPONSE
Friday, Dec 12-Dec 17, 2008 Film begins at 6:00 pm..running time is 89 min. PG-13
Ticket prices are $8.00 Adults & $6.00 seniors/students

An undercover investigation of slavery in the 21st century. The first feature Rockumentary to expose the world's 27 million most terrifying secrets: there are more slaves today than ever before in human history. Music is part of the movement against human slavery. Dr. Cornel West connects the music of the American slave fields to the popular music we listen to today, and offers this connection as a rallying cru for the modern abolitionist movement currently brewing. Please come and enjoy great music as well as help to be apart of this powerful movement! View the callandresponse.com website for more information on this program and field projects.

I have only heard good reviews about this movie and am so glad that the issue of human trafficking is becoming more and more well known.

how anne shirley saved my soul

2008-12-04T11:59:00.000-08:00

(well, you know, not literally my soul)

my co-worker and i have been listening to "anne of green gables" at work this week and i have come to the realization that i haven't let myself imagine enough in these past few months. i don't know if this is because i became afraid that the beauty of what i can imagine will be shattered and then i will be left with only ruins of an invisible realm, or if it is because i just haven't hung out with kids enough lately. probably a little of both.

as a remedy i went and wandered around katherine albertson's park at sunset last night.
a few stubborn golden leaves clung desperately to the tops of the trees as the grass shone emerald in the light of the sinking sun. a few ducks flew overhead, the air whistling through their wings and the sun shining silver on their chests. i could almost imagine that the breeze that came up and made the trees whisper and sigh was just for me. i think beauty must be the remedy for almost everything.

do you think God chuckles...

2008-11-30T13:05:00.000-08:00

I think he does. I think he was chuckling this morning as i read through my sunday school lesson i was supposed to teach on...wait for it...provision.

yes, ok God, i get it. you will provide. you always have.

i also think he chuckles when people see naked mole rats for the first time... but that's a whole different story.

today is not on my list of good days a.k.a. i'm just venting

2008-11-29T20:59:00.000-08:00

blaaahhhhh what a horrible day. and i don't even have anyone to vent to.

so this was really just a ton of venting, i got over it.

baz luhrmann is a genious

2008-11-27T18:15:00.000-08:00

i just got back from watching "Australia." it was incredible. i haven't felt that deeply while watching a movie for so long. it makes the last few movies i have watched look like cheap commercials, you know the ones where they don't even dub the voices in and the person behind the camera is the one narrating...ok so maybe they haven't been that bad, but pretty close. There are very few movies that i get out of where i want to go back and watch it again. i would love to watch it another time just to take in the beauty of Australia, and then another time just to listen to the score. for me it was one of those amazing movies where the music blends so well you don't consciously notice it until it hits a crescendo and then you know that it has been beautiful and has fit perfectly with the scene. I love the "drover's ballad" at the end also. I always sit in the theater till the end of the credits, but rarely is it that rewarding. i enjoyed that in grand luhrmann style everything was big, and beautiful and breathtaking. his movies are so much about the connecting of people, and the pain, joy, and heartache that having a connection brings.

Everyone has a story, how will people tell yours?

2008-11-25T09:20:00.000-08:00

I don't mind the weather
I've got scarves and caps and sweaters
I've got long johns under slacks for blustery days.
-death cab for cutie

humdeehum

2008-11-24T14:19:00.000-08:00

so i am here at work waiting yet again for the server to get fixed.

i've been thinking lately that i should collect quotes that i hear throughout the day and post them here for future enjoyment.
my favorite one from last month was:

"you know if narwhals are real, and men can fly, then dracula could live in pennsylvania."
-Charlie

this is legit

2008-11-21T12:41:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple photos of me with friends at our 80's party. I don't realize that I'm so short in my day to day life, except when I'm grocery shopping and can't reach the top shelf. (Albertson's is horrible for that.) That's really why i keep my friends around, to reach everything up high.

2008-11-20T09:47:00.001-08:00

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Singing off key

2008-11-19T10:24:00.000-08:00

i started singing again. not just humming, or whistling, or singing along with the songs i know, but making up silly songs like my family always does.

something inside me fell into place yesterday. i'm still not sure what it was, but i feel like i've come back from a journey. i feel like i'm awake again. i feel like the goat in muppets treasure island after the cabin fever song:

- Hey-ey-ey, Polly.
- What?

- What was that song that just happened?
- What are you talkin' about?

You know.
Cabin Fever

- That.

that bit of dialog pretty much defines this feeling.